Last week I mentioned that the summer heat/humidity along with various setbacks had really been beating down my marathon training and confidence. Combine that with my "tri-dentity" crisis, and my run mojo was suffering. I even found myself wishing I could just get the next two months over with so I could move on. GASP! Who am I?!
I had a much-needed session with Dr. Pain (who is as much a coach, mentor and friend to me as physiotherapist) last Friday and he was able to help me talk it out while
I admitted that I have not been running as well as I'm used to and that I have not been able to build my mileage given the recent increase in cycling and swimming combined with setbacks noted above. As much as I know that cycling and swimming are making me stronger in the long run, I just didn't feel like I was putting in adequate run mileage for a strong marathon.
I even confessed that I've been feeling like I just want to survive training at this point, run the marathon and move on. Dr. Pain knew immediately that that's not me! I caught myself getting a bit choked up because I know I owe myself more than that, and this marathon is worth more than that to me.
I had considered putting the marathon on the back-burner and riding out this season, possibly running a half instead. I was ready to sit back for now and tackle a new training cycle in the winter for a spring marathon, when historically I tend to do better. But it just didn't feel right. I knew I wasn't quite ready to give up on this race.
After running the 30K on Saturday at a pace not far off my BQ marathon from May, my confidence and drive have been restored. Those final miles reminded me what it feels like toward the end of a marathon.... completely and utterly exhausted but proud of what I've accomplished and ready to give it all I've got to the finish, no matter what time ends up on the clock.
I want that in October. I'm ready to run another marathon and see what I can do. The season is not over yet and I'm ready to take my marathon back.